woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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