What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
