I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
