you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
