Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We have started to decorate penises.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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