She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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