I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
