this beer tastes like vomit already
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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