Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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