Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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