he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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