I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This baby is an asshole
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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