so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
