I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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