drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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