hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
