I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
