yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
