haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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