I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
