He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
