Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
