I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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