There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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