I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
