I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
