A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize