Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My friends, they love my intelligence
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
