Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
