The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
