He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
where does the pee come out of this thing
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
