I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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