her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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