She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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