Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize