she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
