I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
