I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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