At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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