so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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