we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
