he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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