i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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