my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
