I didn't shave. On purpose
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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