Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
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you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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