she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
