I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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