i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
