Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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