Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
