Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
