It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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