you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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