He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize