i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
BRING THE BAGELS
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
