Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I didn't notice because vodka
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
