Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize