Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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