right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
