Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
