road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
