Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
