yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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