just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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