I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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