she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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