So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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